I look at limiting beliefs in two ways, both equally impactful.
First, limiting beliefs serve as our defense mechanism for failure.
It’s the things we tell ourselves that convinces us we shouldn’t move forward, or take a risk, or open ourselves up to vulnerability.
Sometimes these are level-headed assessments of a situation, and that’s completely ok if they are, but so often they’re fear-based, masking as legitimate reasons to stay motionless and risk-free.
“This market is so saturated.”
“I’ve already tried this before, it didn’t work.”
“I already know I couldn’t do this.”
“I don’t even wanna do it that bad anyway.”
How can we limit and reframe these thoughts? I use two steps:
1. Reframe failure.
You’re going to fail. Full stop.
Or, said a bit more realistically, something is going to happen outside of your expectations that you deem a failure.
Trying to avoid that completely is a lonely, fruitless journey.
I used to spend a shit ton of effort trying to avoid messing up, or veering off my plan. I’ve found it so much more useful invaluable to embrace a test-and-learn mentality that allows you to detach something not going according to your plan with a negative result.
An unexpected outcome (aka “failure”) not only is a greater source of data, it’s an opportunity to take a vastly more educated next step.
Read: If Fear is Holding You Back
2. Use awareness to challenge your inner voice.
When you’re aware of something, you can intentionally challenge it.
And in order to habitualize a new mentality, that’s likely exactly what you’re going to have to do.
It’s ok if your inner critic or doubter, is right sometimes, they likely are, but they don’t deserve to hold so much power without going unchecked.
“This market is so saturated.” → “How can I stand out?”
“I’ve already tried this before, it didn’t work.” → “What went well and what didn’t go well last time I tried this, and what I could change this time to see if it makes an impact?”
“I already know this.” → “What could I learn from this?”
It’s easier said than done, but to form a new habit you must be intentional.
And without self-awareness, the answers to your reframed questions will be harder to find.
Second, limiting beliefs are how we define ourselves.
They are the boxes that we put ourselves into.
Sometimes it’s an execution of self-awareness, but other times, a lot of the time, it’s a product of what we’ve been made to believe or what’s most comfortable to keep unchanged.
“I’m a terrible texter.”
“Oh I’m just not good on video.”
“I’m SO unorganized”
“I’m just not a morning/night person”
Or literally anything else.
And the more we say it, the more we believe it.
As I said, sometimes the way we define ourselves is accurate. Knowing yourself and who you want to be, and building around that, is fantastic.
But, don’t mistake self-awareness as a reason to not grow into somebody you want to be.
If you want to change something about yourself, or you realize you’re defining yourself unfairly, check that thought.
Then, if you identify progress to make, shift your focus to what steps you can take to be more organized, wake up earlier, or a better texter.