The ability to stay standing amidst change, adversity, or anything outside of your norm is a skill that will benefit you in every area of life, and is a necessity for change.

But there’s so much comfort in normalcy and predictability that we often struggle to see how voluntary steps outside of those benefit us.

Then adversity hits outside of our control, as it inevitably does, and it knocks us down so violently that we decide to avoid it at all costs in the future.

Then our zone of comfort and predictability gets smaller, and smaller, and smaller.

Then we’re left in a cycle of stagnation, avoidance, and fear of what may happen to us.

This ^^ scares the shit out of me.

I KNOW I could fall into this cycle without intention. A key to my antidote has been building my resiliency. Or, in other words, familiarizing myself with discomfort and the unknowns I fear in my head.

Here are 5 ways to be more resilient in your life:

1. Seek out, and understand, opposing beliefs and opinions. Get used to the idea that not everything you believe is objectively correct. Embrace the idea that different does not automatically equal wrong. Always be open to the possibility that you’re wrong.

2. Build a default response that’s rooted in personal responsibility. When something bad happens in our lives, it feels good to have somebody to blame. But, regardless of outside influence, make a habit out of asking, “Did I do anything to cause or contribute to this? Is there anything I can do to change it?” This helps us focus on what’s in our control and avoid a default victim’s mentality.

3. Fail enough times not to dread it. We often hear, “Seek failure. It’s an opporutnity to grow and learn, and it’s a necessity for success.” This is true, and only recognized by those who have failed enough times to realize it. If you dread it, you’ll likely take too few risks to believe that failure is a step forward.

4. Keep the promises you make to yourself, especially when they aren’t easy. By doing this, you’re telling yourself that you’re worth the effort (you are), and you’re building discipline and accountability.

5. Get to know yourself. Normalize simultaneous self-love and a desire to be better. Oftentimes we hate ourselves into change, or our ego disguised as self-love won’t allow us to recognize parts of ourselves we want to change. Learn how you can walk down both paths simultaneously.

Striving toward each of these will strengthen your mind and increase your confidence that you’re in control of your life. None of them are easy, and that’s the point.